Read Dog Shaming Online

Authors: Pascale Lemire

Dog Shaming

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Copyright © 2013 by Pascale Lemire

All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Three Rivers Press,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group,
a division of Random House LLC, New York,
a Penguin Random House Company.
www.crownpublishing.com

Three Rivers Press and the Tugboat design
are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Lemire, Pascale.
Dog shaming / Pascale Lemire.
pages  cm
1.  Dogs—Pictorial works. 2.  Dogs—Humor. 3.  Photography of dogs. I. Title.
SF430.L45 2013    636.7—dc23    2013023473

eISBN: 978-0-385-34935-2

Cover design by Nupoor Gordon
Cover photograph: © Jordan Curtis-Sherrod (Sugar’s mom)

v3.1

I would like to dedicate this book to my
wonderful husband, Mike. None of this would
have been possible without his support, love,
and computer knowledge! I’d also like to
dedicate this book to our two rescue wiener
dogs, Beau and Dasha, because without them,
there’d be no
Dog Shaming
.

Dog Shaming.
A term almost unheard of a year ago. Today it has become a household name among dog lovers everywhere. It all started in August 2012, when my dog ate my fiancé Mike’s underwear. We were sitting in bed one night, reading from our respective tablets, when we heard one of our two dogs chewing … something. “Who’s under the bed? What are they chewing?!?!” Mike yelled. He reached down and pulled Beau, our male wiener dog, out from under the bed frame. “What are you eating, buddy?” he asked. By the time Mike saw what Beau was chewing—a pair of Mike’s boxer-briefs—they had been destroyed. All that was left was the elastic band and shredded pieces of cotton fabric. We sat in bed staring at each other, incredulous. Then almost simultaneously, we burst out laughing. How was it that this fifteen-pound dog could have ingested so much fabric? Our laughter turned to concern when we realized that Beau would eventually have to pass all that fabric! (And guess who would be cleaning it up?)

In a stroke of genius, Mike wrote up a sign that read “I am an underwear-eating jerk!” and put it next to Beau and the chewed-up underwear. I had always blogged about how destructive and troublesome our little Beau was, but I’d never had photographic evidence—now we had proof. Beau hung his head in shame as if he knew why he was being scolded. Mike snapped a photo, which I then posted to my blog. With that,
Dog Shaming
was born.

Within twenty-four hours, my blog post had received almost a thousand comments. (I was worried Mike would be upset that his underwear had been viewed in a public forum by a thousand people, but he remained unfazed.) The funny thing is, other dog owners wanted in on it, and people started sending in their own dogs’ shames, which I dutifully posted. I could barely keep up! Soon the media—CNN,
People
magazine, and MSNBC—came calling. All I could do was squeal and shout, “Mike! Mike! Your underwear is on TV again!” The blog had become a bona fide phenomenon. I was deluged with submissions, and taking care of the blog quickly became a full-time job.

Barfing, chasing, chewing, biting, farting, stealing, jumping, running away, human-humping—I was astonished by the range of dog indiscretions. How can creatures so cute be capable of such outrageous behavior and downright grossness? Consider the category of eating-what-they-shouldn’t. People have sent in photos of their dogs who had eaten:

socks

underwear

a pound of butter

a cup of sugar (including the plastic container the sugar was in)

walls and baseboards

laptops, cell phones, and tablets

freshly cut Valentine’s Day flowers

chocolate (too many times to count)

garbage (too many times to count)

soap

dog training books

an octopus (!)

What you’ll find in this book are never-before-seen photos from the vault here at
Dog Shaming
headquarters—with a handful of classics. You might even recognize your own dog in some of these shots in a “My dog does that! And that! And definitely that!” kind of way. Although the main goal of Dog Shaming is to poke fun at our most favorite furry creatures, it also shows pet owners that they’re not the only ones to have a mischievous animal. Every dog is just one hand-lettered sign away from the perfect
Dog Shaming
picture, after all! We all know our dogs misbehave; there are no perfect dogs. Anyone who tells you, “Oh you’ll never see my dog on that website; she’s perfect,” is either lying to you or is still blaming the dryer for all his missing socks.

I have often wondered how
Dog Shaming
got so big, so quickly. Internet memes are such a mystery to me. They’re nonexistent one day and everywhere the next. I think when it came to
Dog Shaming
, it was as if people were just waiting for an outlet to vent their frustrations about their dogs’ inexplicable behavior in a fun way. Submitting a photo and getting like-minded dog lovers (millions of them!) to laugh with you is cathartic. Sure, we’re “shaming” our dogs, but it’s with the most possible affection, as we’re replacing the screen door they broke, taking them for X-rays because they ate an engagement ring, or apologizing to the clerk at the pet store for the puddle of vomit near the treat bar. We give them unconditional love, and they give it right back. The shaming is done with love.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that dogs can’t read.

Woof.

Pascale Lemire
,

CEO of
Dog Shaming

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