Authors: Dawn Martens
Copyright © 2015 Dawn Martens
All rights reserved.
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.
Edition Published 2015
Cover by Glenna Maynard
Photo from Shutterstock
Edited by Kendra Gaither at Kendra’s Editing and Book Services and Crystal Sosa
Proof reading by Angie Brennan, Michelle Simm, and Jessica Johnson
Formatting and Design by IndieVention Designs
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is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. Please do not take offence to the content, as it is FICTION.
Trademarks: This book identifies product names and services known to be trademarks, registered trademarks, or service marks of their respective holders, The authors acknowledges the trademarked status in this work of fiction. The publication and use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Glenna – Well, I have to ack you because you are my sister, my best friend, my everything. And I just plain out love you!
Cori – my PA, my friend – you do so much for me, and it means more than you know.
Bailey – my brother from another mother – you rock, man. Seriously, your friendship just plain out rocks! Oh, and thanks for trying the Poutine!!!
Mo-face – I love you, and I finally understand why you love me so much! Hehe!
Ashley Erin – Thank you for all you do for me. I can’t wait to see you again!
Stacy B – I’m with you always, woman!
Kendra and Crystal for the amazing edits
To Sam – We were pretty lamo/stupid for not hitting that button sooner hey?? haha
Mel – Thank you for doing such a beautiful job formatting my books!
To the wonderful ladies (and Douglas) I met in Toronto during the book signing in June, thank you for being sooooooo amazing!!
Sara – my beautiful French photog, although I didn’t get you for this cover, your friendship has been amazing. Meeting you in person was an experience I won’t forget!
My Divas – love you all to bits!
My FB family – everything you do for me means the world to me! I mean that!
To everyone that was there for me during my Cancer scare…. Your words, your tears, meant so much to me!
To each and every person that loved AND hated the ending of UnBreak this Heart… well, I hope in time you forgive me!
And finally, to my hubby – who FINALLY read a book of mine, It’s Just Love Not a Time Bomb – well, I love you, and thank you for being so damn supportive of my writings!
To G-baby and Cori – because without you, I wouldn’t continue doing this!
Mason ‘Reaper’ Harris recently lost his wife under tragic circumstances, leaving him to care for a newborn son on his own. Mason doesn’t do hearts and flowers. He has all but given up on love until he meets the pretty nurse who works in the NICU. Fighting his growing attraction to Moira, he feels guilty, believing he doesn’t deserve a second chance at love.
Moira Parker has worked hard to achieve her dream job as a pediatric nurse. It’s there that she meets the man of her dreams, Mason. However, he just lost his wife, and she feels wrong for desiring him. Brought together by his grief, Moira shows Mason his life is just beginning.
This is the untold story of how Mason found new love.
It’s been a week, a whole fuckin’ week since Hilary’s funeral. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move on from this. She had just come back to me, and now I’ve lost her all over again, this time permanently. I walk quietly, slowly into the cemetery toward Hilary’s grave, my head down. I’ve been coming here every day since we buried her. Hunching my body some to block the chill of the winter air, I don’t pay any attention to my surroundings. I know my way.
Lilly has Hunter at her house, watching him for me so I can be alone. Being a father is so hard right now. Some days it is hard to look at him, but I know it isn’t his fault. He’s an innocent child; he didn’t ask for this or for me as a father. What kid would want me? How will I ever be good enough for my son, when I wasn’t even good enough for my wife? I stop just in front of Hilary’s tombstone and notice fresh flowers sitting in a vase just off to the side.
I didn’t bring those here, and I know her parents didn’t because her favorite flowers were roses. These flowers look like carnations. Obviously, they’re from someone that didn’t know Hilary well enough, or at all, because she didn’t like those, especially not pink ones.
I’m about to bend down to toss the flowers away, when I see someone walking toward the exit of the cemetery. Narrowing my eyes to see if I recognize the person, it hits me. That’s Nurse Parker, the feisty woman who kept yelling at me while I was visiting my son in the NICU. The woman who makes me feel things I shouldn’t.
I hated visiting my son when she was around because, while my son was in that unit at the hospital, my wife wasn’t officially dead yet. The feelings I was getting ate at me. When my dick got hard as she yelled at me, I wanted to punch myself in the face. I would catch myself staring at her ass in her scrubs, all tight and voluptuous. She’d snap at me, and it made me go hard. I loved the thrill of the challenge she presented to me. I wanted to push her buttons. I wanted her to yell at me. But then there was Hilary, my wife, just waiting to die while I was hoping for a miracle that never came.
I was fuckin’ married. Though I still held onto hope that my wife would come back to me, there I was, getting fuckin’ hard over the nurse watching over my son. What kind of man did that make me? Not much of one. Not one worthy of anything.
At that moment, I honestly thought that maybe Hilary was right. She always said we weren’t right for one another. But that didn’t matter to me. Yeah, I fucked up huge during our marriage, but I still wanted to make it work. Prove to her I could be the man she first fell in love with. I wanted to prove to myself that, just maybe, I wasn’t so fucked up after all. Deep down, however, I have always known I am a cold-hearted bastard.
Time ran out. I never thought I would never have that chance with Hilary, not until fuckin’ Trent ruined it all.
I look back to Hilary’s grave, forgetting about Ms. Parker, when a stupid ass tear leaks from my eye. I run my fingers across her name on the marble stone. Looking up to the grey sky, I feel such anger. Hilary was only twenty-eight years old... This is such bullshit that she’s gone.
She should have lived. I should have been the one that died, not her. I was the one who did wrong. I cheated. I have killed innocent people. It should have been me. I keep asking myself why it wasn’t, but then I realize this is my hell on earth
having to look at the child we made, knowing his mother is dead because of me. I wish like fuck that Trent were still alive, because I’d take pleasure in killing him, ending him so fuckin’ slowly and brutally, he’d beg me to end him. That cocksucker was a coward; took the easy way out and blew his own brains out after killing my wife.
I am left to carry the burden that it isn’t me rotting in the ground and burning in hell instead of Hilary. She was the one person who I could let in, who saw the real me and was able to cope with the killer inside me. She accepted me, the cold-hearted killer, and we were going to have a good life and raise our son together. Now, she’s been ripped away from me, any chances for our happy ending slipping away, just as the blood ran from her head. I can’t shake the image of her lying in my arms, the flicker of fire that burned inside her fading away as she closed her eyes… I see her when I close my eyes, giving me the finger and blaming me for her being gone.
I blame Eden for it all, though. Everything is Eden’s fuckin’ fault. She had Hilary and Lilly keep her stupid ass secrets—about her dad still being alive, how he treated her, the damn kids... It’s what caused this whole bullshit thing. If it wasn’t for Eden, Hilary was going to come to me and tell me about Trent. Fuckin’ bitch! If I wouldn’t feel so damned guilty for her children, I’d kill that bitch too! This should be Eden, not Hilary. Jasper might be my brother, but Eden doesn’t deserve her happily ever after. She shouldn’t be the one married and living her dream. Hilary should.
I might have embraced Eden at the hospital, at the funeral, but I haven’t talked to her since. If she’s around, I’m not. I can’t even stand to look at that bitch. I don’t understand why Angel or even Zippo can fuckin’ stand her, either. That cunt is why Jasper lost Monica. That bitch was actually good for him once she got clean and changed. And if it wasn’t for Lilly struggling with Eden’s fuckin’ secrets, her and Zippo’s relationship never would been so fucked.
I’m getting beyond angry again. Fuckin’ Eden! I stand up from the grave, and after one last look at Hilary’s stone, I turn to leave. I’ll never stop loving her, missing her, needing her or wanting her.
I hope like fuck I can be a good enough father for the son that Hilary was able to give me. I’m going to have to be; I am all he’s got. But fuck if it isn’t the hardest thing I will ever do.