Read Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man Online

Authors: Dan Anderson,Maggie Berman

Sex Tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man

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Sex Tips

for

Straight Women

from a

Gay

Man

Dan Anderson and Maggie Berman

Illustrations by Lula

This book is dedicated to all men and women,
because boyfriends may come and go,

but best friends are forever

Contents

Preface

xi

Acknowledgments

xv

Introduction

xvi

“Can I See Your Tan Lines?”

xx

Just Grab It

xxii

1 Dos and Don’ts

1

Clean Up Your Act

2

Baubles and Beads

3

Don’t Get Nailed

4

Scents and Sensibility

4

Tips on Texture

5

Hair Hints

5

Conversation Stoppers

6

Bite Bits

7

2 The Properly Appointed Bedroom

8

Setting the Stage

10

Best Bets on Beds

11

Pillow Talk

13

Preferred Props

14

3 Penis Primer

16

“How’s It Hanging?”

18

Size Lies

18

Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man

Growers and Show-ers

20

The Big Cut

21

The ABCs of Erections

21

Arousal

21

Big, Bigger, Biggest

23

Climax

23

Nature’s Wonders

25

Penis Names

26

4 Primi Piatti

28

Lip Tips

31

A Versatile Guide to Nipples

32

A Friend in Knead Is a Friend Indeed

35

Finger-Lickin’ Good

36

That Touch of Mink

36

Last Word on Foreplay

37

5 Manual Labor

38

The Right Way to Grab It

40

The Great Escape

41

Smooth Sailing

43

A Hand Job Is a Lovely Thing in Itself

43

The Stroke

45

Side by Side

48

Man Straddling Woman

48

Between His Legs

48

Variations on a Theme

49

vi

Notes on the Long Haul

51

6 “You Know How to Whistle, Don’t You? Just Put Your Lips

52

Together and …”

BJ Basics

55

The Uncut Version

59

Advanced Techniques

60

Side by Side

60

69

61

Upstanding Citizen

62

Putting on a Good Face

64

Add-Ons

64

Dick Whipping

64

Hummers

65

Tinglers

65

Last Word

66

A Note on Swallowing

67

Afterword

67

7 Play Ball

68

Basic Balldom

71

Trophy Winners

72

Altered States

73

Play Ball Techniques

74

Constant Comment

76

8 A Quick Course on Condoms

78

Why

80

vii

Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man

Who

80

When

82

What

82

Where

84

How

84

9 Interchange on Intercourse

86

Track and Field

88

Sprints

88

Relays

89

Marathons

89

Climate Control

90

Position Transition

91

The Flying Wallenda Position

92

Hovering Butterflies

93

T for Two

93

X Marks the Spot

94

Prized Thighs

94

Please Remain Seated While Aircraft Is in Motion

95

“A Back Door Guest Is Always Best”

96

Love Taps

97

How to Talk Dirty, If You Must

98

10 “Do Not Enter” Alternatives

100

Soap Operas

103

Princeton Belly Rub

105

Back Sliders

106

viii

The Pearl Necklace

106

M & Ms

107

Combo Platters

109

Wait Here

110

Call Me

111

Cybersex

113

11 Go for the Gold Ring!

114

Good Vibrations

117

Ring Around the Rosy

119

Bottoms Up!

122

Clip Tips

123

Better Living through Television

124

12 Hold the Action

128

Grace Under Pressure

130

Maybe, Maybe Not

132

Read My Lips

133

Dance with a Stranger

134

Exit Stage Left

135

Coping with Frustration

137

Speed Shooting

137

Drunk Dick

137

Drug Dick

138

Pig Dick

139

Schizo Dick

139

Dead Dick

140

ix

Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man

13 How to Get What You Want (Besides a Great Reputation)

142

Premium Primping

145

Outerwear and Underwear

146

Cruising and Scoping

147

Target Practice

150

Closing the Deal

151

Having It Your Way

152

A Winning Way with Words

154

Awarding Rewards

154

14 Dear Dan

156

Commonly Asked Questions and Answers

158

About the Author

167

Credits

168

Front Cover

C

Copyright

169

About the Publisher

170

x

Preface

You probably heard about sex long before your folks ever got around to explaining the facts of life. If you were a boy, you quickly learned that you possessed some anatomical equipment that could make you feel pretty good in addition to its use for making babies. As a girl, the pleasures of your anatomy were probably a little less obvious. But whether you shared a room with your brother or went to nudist colonies on family vaca-tions, you knew that what boys had was really different and, somehow, sublimely intriguing. Lest you think that this is a lead-in to a classic Freudian scenario, we want to set the record straight. In the eloquent words of one wise father whose young daughter burst into the bathroom while he was showering and said, “Daddy, I want one of
those
”: “Emily, if you have one of
those
,” he said, pointing back, “you can always get one of
these
.”

So with the myth of penis envy dispelled, the problem, if you were a girl, was that you learned how all those parts functioned from your parents or from the oh-so-carefully-worded books they gave you, or maybe from watching sequences on
Wild Kingdom
. Still, the mating hippopotami on television conveyed little information beyond the mechanics of the “doggie style” position. The female hippopotamus appeared, shall we say, as though she couldn’t care less. And why not? She seemed to be functioning as a willing, passive receptacle

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